Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize