dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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