What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize