I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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