my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
