I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Screwed.edu
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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