In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's just like the Real World with babies
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
