Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
