dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
