It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Enjoy the penises
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
