If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to make out with him forever
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
