Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
