She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
