I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Randomize
