And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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