So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
