dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
