yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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