Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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