He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
