I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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