New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
