she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
