I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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