You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
