The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it because I queefed?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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