Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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