guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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