do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Small penises have feelings too.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
