LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
