My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize