Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
