Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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