There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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