I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Apparently you make a good broom.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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