awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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