awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
