I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
return my video game
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
