I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
