So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
