today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize