Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
