dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
