Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
