This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
