This girl is more easily done than said...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
