I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize