fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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