dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
