I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm really busy with my period
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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