i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
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We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
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only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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