Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
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I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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