You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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