Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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