well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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