he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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