Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
